朋友圈段子手大赛开赛:感受下单身狗在七夕的怨念

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发表于 2017-8-29 10:14 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

转自观察者网

盼望着盼望着,七夕来了,狗粮的脚步又近了。

朋友圈都满盈着一股恋爱的酸臭味,只要你散发着单身狗的幽香。


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291001a8c173af022b5677.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291001a8c173af022b5677.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

他人都是工具送花,而单身狗只要吃饭的时辰撒娇耍赖找老板要花。花是要到了,可是……
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291001580c3e1a52f26e72.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291001580c3e1a52f26e72.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910015acca7fd1f0d8c47.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910015acca7fd1f0d8c47.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291002e686ad0a3a3ea253.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291002e686ad0a3a3ea253.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
(图自微博@成都头条)

这位朋友,有花就不错了,就别管是玫瑰花还是黄瓜花了……

网友@八哥公用昨晚在离七夕只要十几分钟的时辰公布了一条微博,分享朋友圈里那些关于七夕的段子,立马掀起了答复高潮。

一向被虐怎样行,单身狗也是有庄严的,可以不爱,可是不能危险,来感受一下单身汪的怨念吧:


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291002c59b72340f51c6e4.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291002c59b72340f51c6e4.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100295afd56b0a235ac0.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100295afd56b0a235ac0.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291003521b7a52fa7870e6.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291003521b7a52fa7870e6.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910037bb1da8ad176fe4e.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910037bb1da8ad176fe4e.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291004764583a5e70b3e03.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291004764583a5e70b3e03.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291004d7e86ea73de57782.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291004d7e86ea73de57782.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100481ff188861d7d6a7.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100481ff188861d7d6a7.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

鲁迅:明显是我说的

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910054c8aa69df1ac4898.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910054c8aa69df1ac4898.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100598afaf4f530699a1.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829100598afaf4f530699a1.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
你骗人!我刚转完520就被你拉黑了!



[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910051f5ca2c51803c930.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910051f5ca2c51803c930.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291006ff25c6291f7174ef.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291006ff25c6291f7174ef.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

在这个恋爱的酸臭味横行的天下,只要持之以恒的微商还能让人感受心情安静

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910072602738d2b227e40.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910072602738d2b227e40.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
停车!这不是去幼儿园的路!


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291007023fd457868296be.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291007023fd457868296be.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
晓得这个梗的现在还没工具的话,可以说是很心酸了……


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009e71d0ef20df129b3.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009e71d0ef20df129b3.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

实在近年来情人节已经从情侣的狂欢扩大到单身狗群体的狂欢,刷朋友圈也能感遭到到,秀恩爱的虽多,但单身汪们的碎碎念更多……

究竟比来的报道已经说了,我国单身生齿达2亿,中国本地单身成年人的数目已经相当于俄罗斯和英国全数生齿的总和。中国正面临第四次单身潮。

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009c278d2e1870a9709.gif" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009c278d2e1870a9709.gif');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

所以说,单身不成怕,只要你喜好的人也没工具就行。

据珍重网的统计数据显现,北上广深的单身生齿最多,一线城市的脱单需求远大于二三线城市。

[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009ef1686800cfb60c6.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291009ef1686800cfb60c6.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

观察成果显现,唯一约3%的受访者暗示享用单身生活,而约45%的人倍感孤独,且这一现象在男性中更加突出。

关于单身的首要缘由,大部分男性以为是由于“本身条件还不够优异”,女性则更偏向于以为“还没有碰到充足优异的人”。


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910101aef34cd85ae985d.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/17082910101aef34cd85ae985d.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">
用网友的话来说就是,要末穷,买不起房,要末自己丑还厌弃他人丑。
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829101085871a2cee3b724f.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/170829101085871a2cee3b724f.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">

可是别灰心!2亿人都还单着,你还怕找不到对的人吗?

实在单身汪们是很善良的,对情侣的讥讽归讥讽,心里还是祝愿有情人终成家属~


[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291011c32627dd6a97b0fa.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291011c32627dd6a97b0fa.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">


就像很多人都嚷嚷着再也不相信恋爱了,但实在还是在认真生活,尽力变得更好,悄悄向往期待着属于自己的恋爱到来。
[img]http://zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291011a6d98ad4b09d047a.jpg" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt='点击在新窗口检察全图\nCTRL+鼠标滚轮放大或缩小';}" onmouseover="if(this.resized) this.style.cursor='hand';" onclick="if(this.resized) {window.open('viewimg.htm?url=//zj.pic.duai.cc/bbsatt/day_170829/1708291011a6d98ad4b09d047a.jpg');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);">








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